Discipline: No Longer a Dirty Word
In daycare, discipline issues need to be addressed.
This is part two of "The D Word." This article continues the discussion of discipline issues that may arise, not just between children in the center, but in dealing with
Part 2
Some of the parents at the center I work at have even asked us for information of the style of discipline that we use, because they have seen the results and want to incorporate this style at home.
Another common worry is that we teachers and daycare providers will think that because their child has a single timeout it indicates that they are a "bad parent," who has "no sense of discipline," and "lets their child run wild." While it is true that being a teacher is different from being a parent in many important ways, the sheer volume of our encounters with children have led us to know some very important facts.
First, EVERY child has misbehaves from time to time. The incidence of this varies from child to child, but I personally cannot name one child at my center that is "perfect." Most of the time, the behavior is an indicator of testing to make sure that the rules are still valid, as a search for security and an assurance of love. It is also common for tiredness and stress at home (death of a grandparent, moving, parent changing a job) to create problematic behavior. It is appreciated when parents inform teachers of this sort of thing happening in their child's life and helps to understand why the child may be behaving in a way that is different from their usual mode of behavior.
Second, parents often feel that the occurrence of a time-out is an impression of the whole of the day. If a child is placed in time-out for hitting a friend, the argument that preceded the behavior is about one minute, the actual hit only a few seconds, and the time out typically a minute for each year of age of the child. The rest of the day is filled with hugs, dress-up, coloring pictures of a rainbow, picking dandelions and eating nutritious snacks. For the sake of time, many parents don't hear this part of the day, merely the negative, and this is a great shame. When a note is sent home, my center uses the "sandwich" technique, where something positive about the day is written before and after anything about a negative behavior.
Third, we know that you are embarrassed to have to talk to us. Parents seem to either try to deflect any attention away from themselves and the discussion, or they are overly apologetic and re-discipline their child. This is not always wise, as it undermines the authority of the teacher, and leaves a child confused who may not understand why they are being disciplined for something that has already been resolved in their and their teacher's minds.
The important factor to remember when you receive that little note, or see that serious look in your childcare provider's eye is that you are working together for the greater good of your child and the others in the center, and that your child's teachers understand that your kids are human, and so are you.
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