Daycare Discipline: The D Word
Is discipline in daycare a dirty word?
Discipline is often seen as a dirty word between childcare providers and parents. This article discusses various aspects of discipline that daycare teachers and parents
Imagine-you pick up your child from daycare and as you hug your dear, innocent, precocious little one hello, you notice a teacher approach with a serious yet open look on her face. Then, she hands it to you- the note. Your dear little one's face falls. She had vainly hoped that when Miss Sarah left at lunch-time and Miss Melissa took over, that her decision to push Seth that morning and yell at him and call him stupid would leave with her.
Being the caring parent that you are, you ask if she apologized and insist that you will work with her on this behavior, as this is not the first time that she has made this same bad choice. You keep your composure, but inside your thoughts are raging.
Why is she doing this? We raised her to respect others and use nice words. We never let her hit. Why is she doing this here and not at home? Is it something the teachers are doing? You eye Miss Melissa with suspicion. What are they doing that's different here than at home? They probably think that we have no discipline at home, and we just let her run wild, or that she's a terrible child.
As a preschool and daycare teacher I have seen this scenario countless times from the other position. That of a daycare teacher who hates to send home notes about discipline issues, and sees the looks of worry and embarrassment when parents assert that they have no idea where their child learned "that word," or why they would choose to cut Samantha's hair instead of the collage they were creating. I have often wished that parents could understand our position on discipline issues and not be so afraid that we are thinking ill of them when a behavior must be discussed that end of the day.
One of the primary concerns of parents is that we teachers think that they are horrible parents who have no discipline in their home. Indeed, there have been parents from time to time where I've had cause to wonder. There was the couple that threatened to call our director and have her come over and put Adam in timeout if he didn't brush his teeth and go to bed, the child who stole a toy from one of the other children and the following day announced, "Guess what, you know that toy I took. Mommy bought one for me." This lack of discipline at home did manifest itself at school, but mostly parents simply have a different style of discipline from the school. If you have not done so already, you should ask your childcare provider about the system of discipline at your center.
(Look for Page 2 of this article)
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