Evening Transitions at Daycare
Picking up children at daycare can also be a difficult time.
The afternoon is another difficult transition time in the daycare schedule. This differs from the morning routine in that parents often come at a wider variety of times, or in spurts. In contrast, in the mornings typically all parents drop off their children before 9am, but in the afternoon and early evening parents get off of work at a wide scope of times. A large group of children leave after the 4:30, 5:00 and 5:30 parents have time to drive to the center and pick up their children, and this creates an entirely different set of transition issues.
Some of the children at our center see the earlier kids getting picked up and then feel anxiety because they want to leave as well, and they feel like they are being left behind. My typical answer when these children ask me, "When is my mommy going to pick me up?" is to ask them, "When does mom usually come? Is it before snack? After we go out on the playground?"
Because they do not know how to use a clock, this gives them a better comprehension of the relative time of how long until they are picked up for the day, as well as reassuring them that there is a routine and that there is nothing out of the ordinary of when they are being picked up. Some parents will call our center if there is a change in their schedule and they will arrive to pick up their kids even a half an hour later than usual. This can be a good strategy if your child suffers from anxiety at changes in schedule or separation anxiety, as long as the childcare provider does not emphasize that there parent is on the phone, but the child may not talk to him or her.
One further issue is the struggle that sometimes is splayed out when mom and dad finally do come to pick up their child. In contrast to the morning struggle for children to let go of their parents and move into the routine of the daycare day, parents find that their children are reluctant to go home. Parents sometimes react negatively to this because they feel like they are un-loved, or they are simply tired from a long day of work and do not want to wait for their kids to play one last video game, or go across the monkey bars one final time. The thing that needs to be remembered is that the children have been waiting the whole day for their mom, and now called to suddenly change what they are doing and leave. One way to ease this time and its transitional frustrations is by preparing before coming into the center. If you are on your cell phone-finish your conversation in the car. If you had a bad day at work and are feeling angry-take a short walk, go to a park for 5 or 10 minutes, sit in a coffee house, yell in your car. Whatever you do, your attention should be solely focused on your children when you arrive to pick them up.
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