Day Care: Recovery From Issues
Accidents, Family Issues and Changes in Care
How do you get back on track when something goes wrong at your daycare center? Divorce, death in the family, or accident at childcare can interrupt the flow of care?
One of the worst situations I have ever had to face in my years of childcare was the death of one of my former preschool student's mom. The tragedy was especially because poignant Olivia and her brother had been former foster care children who were blessed to be adopted by her foster care mom who had already reared her blood children. They had several years with her, and then she was suddenly struck with cancer and died just 2 months after being diagnosed.
How does a center deal with this sort of problem and move on into healthy and normal childcare? For the family in question, the best solution was to send Olivia and her brother to live with their adult, "sister" and her family in Florida. A group of her former teachers and staff were able to visit the family at the funeral visitation and say goodbye to her, and offer quiet support during this difficult time, but there have been other family issues that my fellow staff members and I have faced where the children remain in our care after the event.
Typically these life changing experiences may take the shape of a grandparent dying, divorce, older sibling in some sort of trouble, or a serious illness in the family. It is important to remember that each situation and each child is different and needs to have the process that they are going through respected and not tried to be hurried.
In the case of ongoing events, such as a serious illness, one of the most important things that any childcare provider can do is to remain consistent and loving. Often in these cases the siblings or children of those who are suffering may act out or regress as a means of testing if the child care providers will act sympathetically and allow bad behavior, as well as see if the relationship with the childcare provider could be as easily altered as the health of their family member. Consistency shows love and that their entire life is not disrupted, as well as being fair for the other children that are in the center.
In the case of grandparents who have passed away, it is vital to listen to what they are experiencing and also to be aware of what they may be sharing with the other children in the center. While it is healthy for them to share what they are going through with their peers, childcare providers must be aware that the other kids in the daycare may have worries about their own grandparents as well as themselves.
Some of the most frank and educational conversations that I have had with children in my care have come as a result of these traumatic events. For many children this is the first time that they will have to deal with real-life experience of pain that goes beyond a lost toy, or a sibling getting a privilege that they do not.
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