It is typical for preschool teachers and daycare providers to have to deal with long tearful goodbyes and situations where children cling to their parent for dear life. These are some signs of separation anxiety, a developmental stage where children experience anxiety when they are separated from the primary caregiver.
Separation anxiety typically peaks between the ages of 12 months and two years. However, it is not uncommon for children to exhibit separation fears beginning at 9 months. Separation anxiety usually decreases by the age of three.
Separation Anxiety Behaviors
Separation anxiety behaviors are wide-ranging and can be expressed in as simple a behavior as crying when a parent leaves and can be as severe as a child becoming physically sick.
Some of the behaviors that children may exhibit are: crying and clinging at drop off time as well as transition times throughout the day, such as outside time or nap time; carrying a security item throughout the day; and sometimes crying at pick up time because it reminds them of how they felt when the parent dropped them off, describes Jennifer Brackett, intervention specialist for Little Sprouts.
“The symptoms can last for as short as a few minutes with a transition into participatory behaviors or can last for hours for as long as the parent is away. Some children may not display extreme emotions when they experience separation anxiety,” say clinical psychologist Dr. Erik Fisher. In addition, children may become withdrawn or avoidant and they may also exhibit symptoms after they are returned to their parent. It is not uncommon for parents to observe some anger or distance from their children after they return, as if to punish them for leaving them, explains Dr. Fisher.
Separation anxiety is most common in children around the age of 2 as they more firmly develop a sense of self. Shannon Ayers, assistant research professor at the National Institute for Early Education Research, says preschool children are beginning to understand the intentions of others and can often cognitively understand that a parent will return. “To build trust, it is important that a child must be reassured that will occur that is important and the plan must be followed through consistent. For example, a parent should not suggest that she will pick the child up after snack and then get held up and not come until after rest time,” says Ayers [email interview, August, 2008].
Separation Anxiety Disorder
Separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder are two separate conditions. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage. However, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) [American Psychiatric Association, 1994], a child with separation anxiety experiences recurrent and excessive anxiety. It lasts at least 4 weeks and causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, academic, or other important areas of functioning.
Dr. Fisher explains there are likely to be more severe physical symptoms and panic-type, and they will last longer. The child may also have fears of the parent or other family members dying, nightmares about separation, and worry about being displaced from a parent.
Over time, with appropriate interventions and environment, separation anxiety should be become less intense, assures Ayers. Children may, however, experience relapses in separation anxiety such as when they are sick, tired, after a vacation, or if there is a big change in the family like a new sibling or a move. The important thing to remember is that separation anxiety is a normal part of development. Unless the symptoms your child is experiencing are severe or prolonged, there is no need to worry.
