New Child Syndrome and the Daycare
Growing up can be hard on first time daycare attenders.
The first time that a child attends daycare can often be a period of great growth for the child, but also of worry over their place in their family.
"I am a baby!" One of the new three-year-olds at my center said to me recently. Kevin has been having a hard time adjusting to attending daycare at our school. His parents wisely chose to have him begin at our center during the summer before his first year of preschool, so that he can learn to interact with other students and to listen to his teachers. The one downside is that his family also has a younger son, who is less than a year old, and who gets to remain at home with his mom while Kevin is at school.
Kevin is readily able to play with the other kids and can manage the bathroom, snacks, lunch, and playground activities without a great deal of assistance. However, when it is Clean Up Time, and we play "Onward Christian Soldiers," he becomes sullen and simply sits and refuses to move. Our staff has employed various techniques to encourage him to assist the other children in putting away blocks and other toys. We have physically assisted him by handing him toys to put away, even directing his hands to the correct bins, when he has refused to help we have given him the sole responsibility for a certain section of the daycare room, and eventually let the rest of the children go out to the playground when he refused to clean even still. This has eventually enticed him to clean up after a few minutes of hearing the other children playing outside.
We have had similar issues when we ask him to sit politely and wait to go to the bathroom or during Circle Time. It was after one of these times when we were talking about the need to sit politely so that getting all fifteen kids to the bathroom is a smooth process that the above illuminating statement came to light.
"Oh," I said, "Well, babies can't eat a snack of popcorn, and babies can't play on the swings, and babies can't play with our toys because they have small pieces." The only response to this statement was an enigmatic look from under a furrowed brow. "And Kevin, earlier you played on the swing really well, and we all just had snack and you didn't need any help, and earlier you made a really cool toy out of Legos. So you must be a big boy. That's right Kevin's a big boy!" Here I was given a loud scream and mournful cry.
Tears poured down Kevin's face and he said, "No, I'm a baby!" During this conversation a light went on in my head. Since this time his behavior has not changed dramatically, but I have been able to discuss this conversation with other teachers, as well as write of this in a letter to his mom (who has been worried that he isn't handling first time daycare attendance very well). Hopefully this will assist us as teachers in understanding the reasons behind Kevin's behavior and think of creative ways to make being a "Big Boy" a positive thing rather than a negative, and that his family can be aware of the emotions that are running through his little growing body as he tried to make sense of the fact that he is no longer Mommy's little boy anymore.
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