Day Care

» Carla Snuggs - Biting in preschool and childcare.

Do you have experiences with biting in your current preschool or daycare situation? If your child bit another child or adult, please share how it was handled. If your child was bitten, how was the problem resolved?

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» allofus526 - Biting in preschool and childcare.

In response to Biting in preschool and childcare. posted by Snuggs:
My daughter is 18 months old. Over the last month (since this new kid started daycare), she has been bit 6 times. She has been bit so hard and so many times that she has bruises all over her arms, hands, back. Every day when I pick her up, I am scared to walk into her room, for fear of a white paper (incident report) hanging on her cubby. She got bit Tuesday, Wednesday and she is there today. I don't know what to do, neither do the girls that work there. This little boy isn't just biting my daughter, but other children as well. When I dropped her off today, one of the care providers was holding a little girl. This little girl had bite marks all over her arms. What are we as parents supposed to do? The girls say that the director will not do anything about it. Human bites are dangerous. I don't want to leave that daycare, we love it there (other than this). I think that the little boy should have to be taken out of this facility, at least until he has gotten out of this "phase". It's not fair that our children are being bitten on a daily basis while he goes through his "phase". She cries every time I drop her off...wouldn't you if you knew you were going to get bit? She is going to think, "why does my mommy leave me at a place where I keep getting ouches?" Also, one of the girls said that yesterday, my daughter pushed a car towards this little boy and then he charged at her and bit her again. They were insinuating that she was the aggressor. For crying out loud, she was trying to keep him away from her. Please tell me what I am supposed to do...

-- posted by allofus526

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» Carla Snuggs - Biting in preschool and childcare.

In response to Biting in preschool and childcare. posted by allofus526:

Hi allofus,

Your situation sounds very severe. When it comes to issues in daycare, how you respond is depends upon the policies of the facility and your own gut instinct/common sense. In a situation such as this, I would pull my child from daycare and immediately schedule an appointment with the director to discuss the situation and your concerns. Find out if there is a policy in place regarding biting, hitting, etc. and get a clear answer as to what the director plans to do to rectify the situation.

If the director refuses to take action or refuses to follow policy, you have two choices: You can either take the child out of the daycare until the issue is addressed (or permanently), or you can report/file a complaint with your local/state licensing office. I'm not sure where you are located but in the state of California, you can file a complaint with the California Department of Social Services here:

http://www.ccld.ca.gov/HowToFilea_2527.h...

Even if you aren't from California, take a look at the above link because you can then get an idea of the process involved in filing child care complaints.

If it is necessary to file a complaint, don't hesitate. By filing your complaint you help protect not only your own child but you also help ensure the safety of other children as well.

My two cents. Thank you sharing your story. I hope that this helps.

Carla

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» queenmum41 - Biting in preschool and childcare.

In response to Biting in preschool and childcare. posted by allofus526:

I can't imagine the anguish you're going through over this. My daughter (also 18 mo's) was bit for the first time yesterday. We were at Chuck E Cheese for a b-day party, and one of the other patrons just reached around and bit her right in the face. It was horrifying!! Worse yet, I know nothing about this other child, his history, etc. I took my daughter home immediately. Fortunately, (other than the bruise) she's recovered from the episode more quickly than I have. While researching "biting" I came across your posting and had to "chime in". An occassional/isolated incident is certainly forgivable. But the situation you're dealing with is out-of-control. My course of action with the day care would be simple: either the Biter goes, or I take my daughter (and my money) elsewhere. And, all other parents experiencing this should do the same. If the Director is unwilling to do anything about it, then let him/her deal with the consequences of lost business and a bad reputation. This may sound extreme to some, but as far as I am concerned, my job is to protect my child... no exceptions!!!! If you're leaving your child(ren) with someone who does not share the same attitude, you're leaving them with the wrong care providers.

-- posted by queenmum41

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» Meng1973 - Biting in preschool and childcare.

In response to Biting in preschool and childcare. posted by Snuggs:
I wanted to post a similar but different situation...... My daughter goes to an in-home daycare. The providers youngest daughter is the same ages as her (23 months). The providers daughter has bit my child 17 times in the last 4 months. One day she managed to bite her 8 times, 2 times were hard enough to break skin. I have asked my provider what she is doing to her daughter when this happens. She essentially is taking her daughter and putting her in another room with different toys to play with. I feel like that is just re-inforcing her behavior. She is not reprimanded for biting and my provider tells me that her other 2 children also did it and "eventually she will grow out of it." Why should my daughter have to be subjected to biting until her daughter decides she doen't want to bite anymore? Maybe a good spanking would help. Yes, I said spanking. Why are we so afraid to discipline our children these days? I would love to hear suggestions from anyone. If you have dealt with this kind of situation, how did you end up resolving it?
Thank you!!

-- posted by Meng1973

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» Carla Snuggs - Biting in preschool and childcare.

In response to Biting in preschool and childcare. posted by Meng1973:

Hi Meng,
I certainly feel for you and your in-home daycare biting situation.

My article about controlling biting in daycare situations, my article does recommend separating the biter from the victim as a method of controlling biting: "It is also important that childcare providers then protect the "victim" from future aggressive acts by the biter. Dr. Hoffman also instructs that the biter may have to be separated from all of the children until he or she recognizes the harmful nature of biting".

In addition, my article mentions that biting is something that children grow out of: "Biting normally subsides after the second year".

Reacting in a emotionally charged way, i.e., spanking does not seem to be an appropriate solution.

Dr. Hoffman said it best when he advised: "A quick and consistent response from parents and daycare personnel can help children who bite learn to express their feelings in words so that they can become better able to control their behavior".

That said, making sure that the biter is getting the proper attention and outlets for communication, reprimanding the biter, and then separating the biter should biting continue are the most effective channels of controlling biting, since biting cannot be prevented. Biting continues to be a difficult an emotional issue.

the bottom line, however, is that if there is any daycare situation where you feel your child is being harmed and the situation has not been dealt with to your personal satisfaction, remove the child until you feel the situation has been rectified, or find another daycare solution.

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